The journey begins

For those of you who don't know I am deploying to Iraq. So to be able to keep in touch with everyone and to document this experience I created a blog.

In an effort to help out our countries fight against terrorism and because of the spirit of patriotism that burns inside them our fine Admirals in the United States Navy looked into their hearts and figured out the quickest way to get a promotion would be to volunteer to send others to war. So the Navy set up the Individual Augment Program (IA) for short; the basic of the program is that after a quick training process we would be able to go off and join the Army forward deployed in Iraq, Afghanistan, Kuwait, Qatar and Djibouti. To simplify the Navy is whoring me out to the Army and unlike a good pimp the Navy isn't even giving me the courtesy of a crack addiction.

To make it worse I am going to the Army Corps of Engineers who had a General in need of promotion so he decided to augment some of his folks to the State Department. Problem was he had no people left to augment but lucky for him (and yes I assume its a man not because I'm sexist but everyone knows women can't be flag officers) he knew an Admiral in need of promotion. So I am being augmented to be augmented and yes that's good for the moral. So to sum it up as so far I was whored out to the Army, which I believe sold me to the State department for two packs and an old Playboy. So that translates to me going to Iraq to lead a reconstruction office in Northern Iraq. Yeah what fun.

Which leads us to today; I am working through step two of the three step process. Although they have had five years to perfect it the Navy still has not gotten the augment process down. Perhaps if McCain is elected president and we have another five years of war they will be able to smooth out the kinks maybe. The first step to process was at the Navy Mobilization Processing Site (NMPS), which lasts one week. The Navy has four centers spread throughout the country so the Navy with its keen business scents sent me to the most cost effective location, San Diego. Its one fun filled week of standing in one line just so we can go stand in another line, it's the military version of Disneyland. The highlight is when we get to see the "provider" Navy slang for an 18 year old kid who has the same intense medical training as a lifeguard. The provider decided if you were fit to deploy. So naturally being the coward that I am when it was time for me to see the provider I claimed I had every medical condition I heard of on television. After he gave a courtesy glance at my medical record he smiled and said, "Let's get you into a uniform." So after I got into a new uniform it was on to FT Jackson for phase two basic combat training.

The whole time we were at NMPS we were told over and over again, "The war begins the second your foot touches the ground at FT Jackson. You hit the ground running." Well when my foot hit FT Jackson on Saturday and my "war" began I was greeted to a pleasant briefing given my barracks assignment and than proceeded to drink a lot of beer. After two days of this when I was just starting to get used to that type of "war." the fun began. FT Jackson is a basic training camp so we have drill instructors teaching us. The problem with that is a drill instructor only knows how to teach one thing, 18 year old recruits. The training is dumbed down to the level of an 18 year old high school drop out. To say the least the instruction is basic; here is an example of a lesson we had on the M16 A2 rife. Our drill instructor got up in front of the whole class pointed to the end of the rifle and said, "You see this here whole. Out of this whole comes the bullet. The bullet travels fast you see. It will hurt or kill anything that gets in the way. So if I see you put your hand over the whole I will smack ya. If I see a put it on your foot I will take that rifle from ya and butt stroke ya. AND IF ya put it near ya head I will tie ya to my truck and drag you across the street. " As you can tell by the example they also threaten us with physical harm.

So thats were I stand. More to follow. Maybe even with pictures but I make no promises.