Day 42 - Random Thoughts

Sorry for not updating this but I have been on the road attached are a list of random thoughts and items I have encountered during my trip.

Along one of the routes I travel often there is what I believe a burger store. The sign on the burger store has two pictures one of a baby and the other of a burger. I don’t know exactly what they are selling but I am not buying.

Spencer, a good friend of mine, is a JAG officer working for detainee operations. His office received a group of letters one of which was written from a young boy addressed to a Navy person. The letter was from a boy who stated his Dad was in the Marines. His Dad told him that the Navy gave the best blowjobs. The boy than inquired as to whether or not the Navy person gave blowjobs and ask what was the quality of the aforementioned blowjobs. It ended with the hope that the Navy person was having a good time giving blowjobs in Iraq. Immediately after finishing the letter Spence did what any person would do, he scanned it and sent it out to everyone he knew. If you don’t believe me I have a PDF copy as backup.

For those of you who don’t believe Western culture will take root in Iraq (Defeatocrats). I just want you to know that the Iraqis have adopted the drive by. And we all know how it goes first comes the drive by shootings than comes gansta rap and finally apple pie, democracy and Christianity. We are almost there just 4 more years to go (Vote for McCain).

Armed Forces Network (AFN) provides satellite television for our troops stationed in Iraq. They have been given permission to rebroadcast several different US television shows; however they are not allowed to rebroadcast commercials. To fill the void they have there own commercials typically they consist of describing in painful detail why military heritage is important but there is always a weekly service announcement. This week its, “Dude beating your wife ain’t cool.” Damn it AFN thanks to your announcement there goes one of my favorite pastimes, ah well at least I still have drinking and driving.

Editors Note: Despite the author’s poor attempt at humor. Beating your spouse is no laughing matter and besides anyone who knows the dynamics of my relationship knows for a fact that I am the beaten not the beater. Also folks don’t drink and drive unless your driving a rental car than well have fun.

Finally in order to pass the time and because what the hell else am I going to do, I am competing in a mustache growing competition. And yes I look magnificent.





Stay Classy Iraq

Day 27. I have Internet at last. I have Internet at last. Praise God Almighty I have Internet at Last.

Well all,

I apologize for the delay but the man (US Army) blocked the blogging sites. We just had a personal line run so I can continue my blog from the convenience of my room. Since I last wrote a couple of weeks ago I checked into my permanent location here at beautiful Forward Operating Base Loyalty. FOB Loyalty is located on the site of a former government office complex built by the Russians for Saddam and yes it has all the charm and architectural beauty of a …. Well an office complex designed by communists. Oh did I mention it has an old prison, where Saddam used to torture people. yup nothing haunted in here. Anyway the tourist attraction on our base is the JDAM building, named after the type of bomb we dropped on the building during the first gulf war.

This place is Army to the bone. I am one of three Navy Sailors on the FOB and subsequently get a little bit of shit. I’m constantly referred to as a CPT even though I am a LT and get yelled at when I call them by the Navy ranks. I know the Army rank structure and only refer to them by the Navy rank out of spite. If they aren’t going to recognize the Navy rank structure why should I recognize the Army rank structure? Additionally the head of the cell I work for is constantly giving me crap about how the Navy sucks and the Army is better blah blah blah … so I said, “CDR, you may have a point about the Army deploying for a longer time, however when was the last time the Navy needed the Army’s help to complete a mission?” In an unrelated story I don’t think the LCOL likes me that much.

Sorry Nicole chances are he is probably going to be your next boss.

I travel outside the wire a great deal and interact with different Iraqi ministries and elected officials (lots more to follow about those guys but its amazing the same country that deprives me of alcohol elects people who make me want to drink). Not to worry all as you can see from the picture when I travel outside the FOB I have enough weapons and ammunition with me to take on Rambo or capture France:



Well this time I mean it when I say it, “More to follow.”