Day 12 - Camp Victory

Its been an interesting couple of days to say the least. I tried to grow a mustache and failed miserably (no pictures were taken thankfully). The training group of been with for over month broke apart and we each went our separate ways. The six of us actually became quite accustomed to each other since well to put it bluntly we have been living together for a month. So I was actually a little sad to see them off.



A picture of the group taken on our last day at FT Jackson.

Early last week I moved from Camp Virginia to LSA and was turned over to the Army Corps of Engineers. LSA is the hub for the majority of personnel flying into an out of Iraq. To put it bluntly it was actually a reunion of sorts, I ran into 4 different people who I knew from various stages of my military career. None of us had any clue the other was out in this theater of operations we just were wondering around in the dining facility or at the exchange and looked up and surprise a blast from the past. Which leads me to reason number 137 to get out of the military, WE ARE ALL FUCKING OVER HERE!

The onward movement into Iraq was rather interesting we made a tactical landing. Bottom line a tactical landing is a roller coster ride at 3,000 feet. The aircraft made moves I previously did not think were possible in a cargo plane. Bottom line the pilots did a great job landing the plane and even a better job making me except Jesus Christ as my lord and savior.

Camp Victory my current location is an oasis in Baghdad. The base has not been targeted during the latest up tick in violence, which coincidentally seem to occur right as getting ready to come over here, thank you Maqtada Al Sadr for the welcome gift. The food here well I would use the term great but I don't think it gives the food enough justice.

I'm going through the indoc class right now and getting ready for my final movement to my last destination. To put it bluntly it should be a real challenge the office in terms of staff I'll have iabout a third the size of my office back at Earle and we are only doing about 8 times the work (currently we have are responsible for over 60 projects worth roughly $245M), which will look good on the resume.

Anyway here is my address:

LT Ben Dunford
FOB Loyalty
USACE-GRC
APO/AE 09390

As always more to follow.

Ben

P. S.

When it comes to Mike Clarke and his desire to send me sand I have no choice but to take the moral high ground and just shake my head at his comment.

P. S. S.
Mike Clarke smells like poop.

Day 10 - Sand Sand Everywhere

After spending the last two and a half days at the Udari Range. We have now officially completed training and are per the Navy's rules ready to move forward into Iraq. The Udari range is a group of tents (five or six) in the middle of the desert. The training is unique in its own sense. The first two days occur at the shoting range and unlike any other shooting ranges we have previously worked on in training it follows Middle Eastern safety standards, which happen to be non existent.

We lined up as a group and did turns and shoots, walks and shoots, runs and shoots and my favorite run, turn and shoot. All of which is dangerous. Bottom line the range is run by a bunch of crazy retired special forces guys. These people were in the special forces thus inherently a little crazy plus the fact that they are retired and no longer in the military but happen to be hanging out in the middle of the Kuwait desert doesn't solidify your belief in the questionable psychological state of these people. Let me explain something that happened at the range. This occurred during the simple shoot part of the range. He would yell a command and we would repeat it and do the action. So when he yelled, "Up!" We raised our weapon up and we would fire two shots. We were standing 25 yards from the target and he was yelling, Up! while walking behind us. He then stepped in front of me and yelled, "Up!"

I gave him a look and said, "Huuup?" which is a combination of Huh and what.

He looked at me and again said, "Up!"

I looked at him and responded, "Up!???!"

He said, "Up!"

So I yelled, "Up!" and thought man this is going to look bad during the mishap investigation and fired my weapon over his shoulder at the target. Now when I say over his shoulder I don't mean I stuck my weapon over his shoulder and fired. I mean the bullet left my weapon at 3000 ft/sec and traveled over his right shoulder and into the target.

After I fired the two shots he states, "During combat you will have to shoot over your own men to hit the enemy." And all I could think about was yeah and during combat we sometimes we accidentally shoot our own men while trying to shoot the enemy (Pat Tilman).

The rest of time was spent doing convoy training and dealing with the ongoing sandstorm.

There is nothing to describe the pain of a Middle Eastern sandstorm. First let me describe the sand here, the sand is so bad that they import more sand. The sand that is indigenous to the area can not be used in concrete. It is closer to a coarse dust than it is to sand and the wind picks up and blows this dust everywhere. It comes at you from every direction and kills visibility.

Bottom line we came back about two hours ago and I immediately took a 15 minute shower and I just took another 15 minute shower and I still haven't gotten the majority of the sand off my body.

One last note before I sign off I would like to give a shout out to the editors of Stars and Stripes, the military newspaper for deployed troops. The headline was a story all about how the Iraqi police have finally come together to form a cohesive unit, which can stand up to the insurgency and free the country of Iraq from oppression. Immediately below the story is a piece from AP headline, "Despite US commanders urging 150 Iraqi Police officer deserted there key post in Sadr City and handed over to a Anti-government militia.

Boots on Ground Day 6 - Ping Pong Summer Camp

Well folks not much to talk about. Currently we have a hectic schedule of doing nothing. Our days consist of one or two meeting if we are lucky. Mostly we are just getting use to the heat and drinking lots of water.

This means I have lots and lots of free time, so we have lived life in Camp Virginia to the fullest. First let me describe Camp Virginia, it is a base in the middle of nothing. With wonderful views on all four side of .... nothing. Its a transit point to get people ready for Iraq or to decompress from Iraq (The lucky ones) and get them ready for the US. Because of that there are a lot of Western comforts (McDonald's, Subway, Panda Express .. etc.). A USO and a movie theater that specializes in shitty movies (I've believe in the past three days I've seen every Queen Latifia movie to date). Noel is very happy with this because she knows my love of shitty movies and by seeing them here she doesn't have to watch them at home (Delta Farce).

They also have an MWR facility that has ping pong let put it this way Ladies and Gentlemen I have found a new hobby. Camp Virginia has become a ping pong training camp of sorts for a few of us. With nothing else to do we have turned to ping pong. Every day we play for hours at a time. However, every time we think we are becoming ping pong masters the Army personnel who run this camp show up. When one goes on deployment they always find something to do (I for one plan to prepare for the GMATs and work out) given the size and shape of the typical Army personnel at Camp Virginia they did not plan to work out and decided to master ping pong. These people are not good they are too good. They are not the type of people who make say a fraternity proud because they can win drunk but the type that makes a fraternity question the individuals social skills in high school or lack their of bottom line they are people like my brother Michael ... nerds. They stand about five feet from the edge of the table and launch the ball at you. They take out all their frustrations about being away from home stuck in an outpost on the ball and consequently you. I am proud to say I had my best game against one of these fellows the other day he only beat me 21 to 4.

That's all I have for today. We are heading out to the range for the next couple of days and then all be turned over to the Army early next week for forward movement.

As always stay classy USA.

Boots On Ground Day 2

Greetings folks from Kuwait where the weather is well hot and shitty.

We left late Friday night from the local airport at Columbia, SC. The local veterans organizations (VFW, DAV and the Military Order of the Purple Heart Society) all came out to give us flags, boxes of girl scout cookies and other fun items. It was actually a pleasant send off.

ADM Mullen who is the head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff (The highest ranking military officer in the country) landed at the airport approximately 75 feet from our location. Unfortunately he had some pretty important business to take care of (The Masters golf tournament was being played 40 miles from that location) and could not afford to stop and say hi. This is despite the fact that one of the reasons he got his position was because he sent us to Iraq on IAs please see the first posting for more information.

From South Carolina we flew to a stop over point in Germany where I played America's favorite game show how drunk can a person get in one hour. And the answer is .... VERY.

We arrived in Kuwait on Saturday night (Boots on ground day 1) unloaded the bags and drove up the infamous Highway of Death to my current location here in Camp Virginia. The Highway of Death got its name during the first Gulf War when Allied aircraft bombed the hell out of the Iraqi Army as it tried to escape and reposition its self along a new front in Southern Iraq. To be honest it kind of sucks. I was looking forward to a little bit more. I didn't even see one burnt Iraqi corpse. I guess after 17 years they finally cleaned up the place.

Kuwait is pretty much how I remember it. US bases surrounded by a whole lot of nothing. I forgot about the glare. The sunlight reflects off the sand and blinds you. In every direction you look there is the glare of the sun. It is weird there are no shadows. Unfortuntely my sunglasses deserted me and heading back to America with the Airplane. The best way to describe how the heat feels is for you to run hot water in the shower in the bathroom close the door walk away and come back five minutes later. If you don't have the time you can just have a good friend punch you in the face and that accurately depicts the heat experience.

Our schedule this week is pretty light. Mostly just acclimating our self to the heat. We are suppose to go to the Udari range end of next week. We can not deploy to Iraq until we complete the range. I was named the tent commander so I actually have a little bit of admin paperwork I have to do (Yes, I am a very important person who owns many leather bond books and my house often smells of mahogany). For the most part I plan on doing the only logical thing. Sleeping till I'm hungry and eating till I'm tired.

Well folks that's all I have for today.

Stepping Off

After 1 week in San Diego and 3 weeks in lovely FT Jackson; our stateside training is complete. In approximately 7 hours we will be departing for Kuwait.

Training was completed Wed morning. After the completion of the training cycle we had our after action brief, which was actually pretty funny. I honestly believe the Navy staff came in to hear about how great they were but instead felt the fury of the first ever dry class. The reason for making our class dry changed approximately four different times during the brief. Finally the LT who was the sacrificial lamb stated that they really do support us and there people work 12 to 14 hours a day. Then to contradict that argument my fellow classmates pointed out that when we leave in the morning the lights are out and when we return in the evening 10 to 12 hours later the lights are out.

The Army staff, however was very helpful. They provided great advice and some of the lessons I learned hear I know will be quite helpful in theater. Honestly, I shot more times in these last couple of weeks than I have in my whole life and I can actually tolerate the body armor for small periods of time.

Anyway I don't have that much to say its been a rather slow, boring couple of days. Time has moved to almost a stand still as I wait for the flight. So with that I bid farewell.

So see you on the flip side America.

P. S.
Don't see Leatherheads that movie sucked. If I ever see George Clooney I am demanding my $6 back.

Last Call for Liberty

Well my last weekend in the states has just wrapped up. Noel who is truly my better half, came down to say good bye and we took in the sites of lovely Columbia, the capital city of South Carolina. Its a bustling metropolis whose tourist motto is "Why the fuck are you here?" Our hotel was right in downtown Columbia, which would have been nice but apparently downtown shuts down at 5 pm on Friday and doesn't reopen until sometime after the upcoming elections. Despite the lack of commerce in the area the hotel actually had a nice view of the capital which still displaces the highly controversial confederate flag. For anyone wondering I believe the hotel is located on the corner of Klu Klux Avenue and Lynching Way.

Unfortunately the weekend ended this morning and well the hardest part of the deployment took place (the goodbye). She drove back to DC and I continued with training. Its been just over 12 hours and I already miss her.

We are almost complete here at Fort Jackson. The only real remaining evolution the practical exercise takes place tomorrow. Wednesday consists of classroom training on the rules of warfare and cultural awareness. I can teach these classes in less than a minute. Rules of warfare is simple... survive. Cultural awareness is almost as easy; be nice to the locals unless it interferes with the rules of warfare.

Bottom line the goodbye is over, all useful information from the drill instructors will be passed out tomorrow. Its time for me to get on the fucking airplane.


Only because I promised pictures.

As always more to follow.

Rants about Training

First off one can not go to South Carolina and not complain about locals, this weekend we had liberty, military term for a couple of hours off, and I was able to experience South Carolina. In general the people seem to believe in the old adage, "Slow is smooth and smooth is fast." Sorry South Carolina but SLOW IS FUCKING SLOW. When I am at a store it should not take you more time to give me my change than for me to shop. I was out at the local Walmart, pretty much the only store in the south, with my buddy Mike and he purchased an item requiring 20 cents change. The transaction took over 2 minutes. The check out lady took his cash stared at the register and proceeded to get out the stash of change; Twenties, Tens, Fives, Ones. Finally she figured out it all he needed was two dimes. The locals poor education particularly in the Math actually had an advantage we had to take an eight dollar cab ride and so at the end of the ride I gave him a twenty. He gave me three fives back and asked for me to give him a one. Thanks for the deal. I know what your saying, "I shouldn't take advantage of the poor fool" but hey unlike the locals I'm not an Evangelical I believe in Darwin and if he isn't smart enough to survive well ....

Second. Navy Supply. Thank you supply for issuing us desert boots, which have a tag on them stating, "Caution not intended for use in combat vehicle or aircraft." Thanks for issuing us a holster from the Vietnam era and when people complained they gave us directions to a store in which we can BUY a better one. Thank you, Navy supply department once again you are truly showing your patriotism by doing everything you possibly can for God and Country between the hours of 10 and noon.

Third. NERDS!!! This is directed to the medical service corps losers on the other side of the barracks and there love of online gaming. Ninety percent of the time I can't even check my email because of their social ineptitude. Since the Nerds are only deploying to Kuwait the training regiment is not as stringent as mine and does have a lot more free time and thus constantly pirate the bandwidth. Additionally one of the jackasses had the morning watch yesterday and turned the lights on 30 minutes early. Sleep is a commodity here. I know what your saying I should be nice to the medical jackasses they may save my life but these guys aren't doctors they are medical service corps, their jobs are all science base Micro Biologist types. So pardon me its time time to set move the setting on my baton from Hippie to Nerd and have some fun.

Fourth. Watch. Since we all have weapons per the training rules we have to constantly maintain a watch making sure no one takes our weapons. Oh yeah all of our weapons are locked in lockers so a watch is really not necessary. But what fun who needs sleep when one can sit inside an already secured compound and make sure no one steals weapons from a secured locker. But hey its not like sleep is a commodity.

Fifth. The know it all. This is dedicated to a certain senior enlisted member of my platoon who musts make sure everyone knows his opinion. I don't care if he was in the Marine Corps, the Army national guard and now the Navy all it tells me is he can't make it in the Marine Corps, the Army and as a civilian. Your years of failure does not give you a right to try and correct the drill instructors who unlike you have been to Iraq. So In case you are happening to read this I will dumb it down for you. Them right helpful advice. You wrong and your a jackass.

Sixth. I am called an IA, which stands for individual training. The people at FT Jackson have been training IAs for three years. When I am over there and I move outside the wire chances are I will be with maybe one or two other military members. The rest of my convoy will consist of state department and civilian body guards AKA mercenaries and I am not the only one who is in this situation. Please gear your training towards me. An example of this is the quack told us after a combat related activity occurs during the after action report have an informal conversation between all the members involved. This will help build unit cohesiveness and help relieve individuals anxiety. Well lets run through a possible sample how do you feel scenario with my South African body guard.

Me: Man that was intense. How are you feeling?
Mercenary: Rich

And finally to end this post on a high note. I would like to give a shout out to the Cuz man. The Cuz man works at the DFAC, dining hall, and has to be the happiest man in food service. He refers to everyone as Cuz or Sista Cuz depending on their sex and offers us council. A typically interaction goes something with the Cuz man goes something like this, "A good night cuz?" "Long I had watch and got 3 hours of sleep." The cuz man ponders this statement and responds. "Sucks Cuz here'z more eggs."

And so with this I bid you all a good night CUZ.