Rants about Training

First off one can not go to South Carolina and not complain about locals, this weekend we had liberty, military term for a couple of hours off, and I was able to experience South Carolina. In general the people seem to believe in the old adage, "Slow is smooth and smooth is fast." Sorry South Carolina but SLOW IS FUCKING SLOW. When I am at a store it should not take you more time to give me my change than for me to shop. I was out at the local Walmart, pretty much the only store in the south, with my buddy Mike and he purchased an item requiring 20 cents change. The transaction took over 2 minutes. The check out lady took his cash stared at the register and proceeded to get out the stash of change; Twenties, Tens, Fives, Ones. Finally she figured out it all he needed was two dimes. The locals poor education particularly in the Math actually had an advantage we had to take an eight dollar cab ride and so at the end of the ride I gave him a twenty. He gave me three fives back and asked for me to give him a one. Thanks for the deal. I know what your saying, "I shouldn't take advantage of the poor fool" but hey unlike the locals I'm not an Evangelical I believe in Darwin and if he isn't smart enough to survive well ....

Second. Navy Supply. Thank you supply for issuing us desert boots, which have a tag on them stating, "Caution not intended for use in combat vehicle or aircraft." Thanks for issuing us a holster from the Vietnam era and when people complained they gave us directions to a store in which we can BUY a better one. Thank you, Navy supply department once again you are truly showing your patriotism by doing everything you possibly can for God and Country between the hours of 10 and noon.

Third. NERDS!!! This is directed to the medical service corps losers on the other side of the barracks and there love of online gaming. Ninety percent of the time I can't even check my email because of their social ineptitude. Since the Nerds are only deploying to Kuwait the training regiment is not as stringent as mine and does have a lot more free time and thus constantly pirate the bandwidth. Additionally one of the jackasses had the morning watch yesterday and turned the lights on 30 minutes early. Sleep is a commodity here. I know what your saying I should be nice to the medical jackasses they may save my life but these guys aren't doctors they are medical service corps, their jobs are all science base Micro Biologist types. So pardon me its time time to set move the setting on my baton from Hippie to Nerd and have some fun.

Fourth. Watch. Since we all have weapons per the training rules we have to constantly maintain a watch making sure no one takes our weapons. Oh yeah all of our weapons are locked in lockers so a watch is really not necessary. But what fun who needs sleep when one can sit inside an already secured compound and make sure no one steals weapons from a secured locker. But hey its not like sleep is a commodity.

Fifth. The know it all. This is dedicated to a certain senior enlisted member of my platoon who musts make sure everyone knows his opinion. I don't care if he was in the Marine Corps, the Army national guard and now the Navy all it tells me is he can't make it in the Marine Corps, the Army and as a civilian. Your years of failure does not give you a right to try and correct the drill instructors who unlike you have been to Iraq. So In case you are happening to read this I will dumb it down for you. Them right helpful advice. You wrong and your a jackass.

Sixth. I am called an IA, which stands for individual training. The people at FT Jackson have been training IAs for three years. When I am over there and I move outside the wire chances are I will be with maybe one or two other military members. The rest of my convoy will consist of state department and civilian body guards AKA mercenaries and I am not the only one who is in this situation. Please gear your training towards me. An example of this is the quack told us after a combat related activity occurs during the after action report have an informal conversation between all the members involved. This will help build unit cohesiveness and help relieve individuals anxiety. Well lets run through a possible sample how do you feel scenario with my South African body guard.

Me: Man that was intense. How are you feeling?
Mercenary: Rich

And finally to end this post on a high note. I would like to give a shout out to the Cuz man. The Cuz man works at the DFAC, dining hall, and has to be the happiest man in food service. He refers to everyone as Cuz or Sista Cuz depending on their sex and offers us council. A typically interaction goes something with the Cuz man goes something like this, "A good night cuz?" "Long I had watch and got 3 hours of sleep." The cuz man ponders this statement and responds. "Sucks Cuz here'z more eggs."

And so with this I bid you all a good night CUZ.